A Week to Remember
by Pvt. Caboose
Summary: When Chad invites Ichigo and friends to visit his relatives in Mexico, Yamamoto gives all captains and lieutenants a vacation at the same hotel. Not to mention Soifon and Nemu are up to something. My first fic, so please R&R!
1. LOVESONG

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, but I should.

This is my first fic, so be brutally honest. When you're done reading, hit that review button. to quote my namesake, "Time…line? Time is not made out of lines, time is made out of circles, that is why clocks are round." And yes, I know that has nothing to do with what I was just talking about.

This is going to be an interesting week, Ichigo thought as he rose from his seat and began sorting through the overhead bin to find his friends' carry-ons. He was mainly grateful he could stand up and walk around now that the plane had stopped. Ichigo hated long flights, and the ones that took him from Japan to the Gulf coast of Mexico were probably his least favorite of all. Recently Chad had been invited to see his relatives, and had asked Ichigo and the gang if they wanted to come along. Of course Urahara and Yoruichi wanted to tag along, and watching with interest the plans of his favorite shinigami representative, Yamamoto decided to give all the captains and lieutenants a vacation too, at the same hotel everyone else was staying at.

"Hey Chad…" he began, staring up at his larger friend.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering, how are we gonna get around on our own if nobody else speaks Japanese?"

"¿No recuerdas? Yo hablo español."

"No me olvidé, mi amigo." Both Ichigo and Chad turned their heads to see who had said this, and were surprised to find it was Uryuu Ishida.

"Ishida, you know Mexican?" Ichigo gaped.

"For the record, it's Spanish. Oh, and Kurosaki…"

"What is it?"

"It would scare you what I know."

Checking in was a breeze. Ichigo was more than happy to get into his room. The hotel was large and spacious, and was right next to a beautiful beach. All of this courtesy of Uryuu Ishida, it really is nice to have rich friends. He lay there silently, thinking about how interesting this trip would be. He had no idea how right he was.

Soifon strolled briskly down the hall. Although the gigai was comfortable, she couldn't help but feel restricted. Quickly she knocked on the door, and almost as quickly the door opened. Mayuri Kurotsuchi's gigai looked nothing like what everyone in Soul Society was accustomed to; it was tall and muscular in appearance with light blue hair arranged in a fashion similar to that of Ichimaru's. Not even Soifon could avoid snickering when she thought about the contrast between this and the head of R&D's true form.

"Ahhhhhh, Soifon-taichou, what a pleasant surprise. Tell me, what is it that you want?"

"May I…phhhhhhhhh…please speak to Nemu, Womens' Society matters and all."

"Alright, just one second. Nemu! Get over here right now you little slut! Someone wants to talk to you!" Nemu promptly appeared and bowed to Soifon.

"Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou, take a walk with me."

"As you wish, Soifon-sama."

"Now gossiping is pretty common over at the women's society, and rumor is that during Ichigo Kurosaki's not so brilliant attempt to save Rukia Kuchiki, _you_ developed a bit of a crush on a certain ryoka." At this Nemu blushed, well, it was more like her face turned red and she broke out in a cold sweat.

"I am also aware," continued the captain, "that you developed, in secret, a way to obtain that ryoka's affection, and you have several batches on you right now."

"What do you want from me, taichou?" It was obvious the girl was very nervous.

"Three batches. And in return I won't speak of this to anyone."

"Done," with that she handed three small vials of clear liquid to Soifon.

"They are completely colorless and tasteless," she continued. "It will work best if you mix it in with the food or drink of the desired target."

"Thank you." Soifon turned and walked away, leaving Nemu standing alone in the hallway. _OOOOO Yoruichi-sama,_ she thought, _this is going to be perfect!_ Nemu, however, was totally worried. In fact her thoughts were more along the lines of, "This isn't going to work out as I planned." And she was right, dead right, but Soifon couldn't have been more wrong.


	2. Monday you can fall apart

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. If I did, there would be more character deaths. A lot more.

This is chapter 1 out of seven with an epilogue to go. Hope you like it and please R&R.

* * *

Uryuu Ishida was smiling for once. The sun was shining, the sunrise over the beach was gorgeous, and he had scheduled an entire week of stress-free, leisurely activities. To be honest he was feeling a lot better. He had been sitting on the beach for about two hours now, watching the sunrise over the calm waves and his fellow morning persons walking, jogging or just relaxing like he was. Then he sensed her.

He turned his head, slowly but in a way that still showed interest, and was a bit shocked to see Nemu Kurotsuchi standing behind him, and in a gigai no less. Her arms were fully extended; hands grasping each other tightly, and her head slightly bowed forward, almost as if she was paying him homage.

"Good morning, Quincy-san," she said in a somewhat nervous voice.

"Hey, Nemu, so nice to see you. I had no idea you were a morning person."

"Mayuri-sama always makes me get up early; I could never sleep in anyway. That's beside the point, Quincy-san…"

"Ishida, call me Ishida."

"Ishida, I was wondering if… maybe…you would like to…"

"Yes."

"If you would like to…get inside me sometime." She finished her sentence quickly, leaving an Ishida unable to hide his shock.

"What? Forgive me; I'm not so sure I know what you mean."

"Well you don't have to if you don't want to. We could go to a nice restaurant, or the beach, I've heard of some great movies opening up…"

"Wait a minute," interrupted Ishida, stopping her somewhat frantic speech midstream. "Do you want me to _go out _with you?"

"Yes. That's what I said, isn't it?"

"No, but we'll get to that later. If that's what you mean though…" This was something he really had to consider. On one hand, he was a Quincy, and the shinigami were his sworn enemies; but on the other hand he was a nerd, and hadn't had a date in a long time. It wasn't as if there were a line of girls as pretty as Nemu asking him out, and beggars can't be choosers (unless they stay with Orihime Inoue). Finally he made his decision.

"Sure, why not. Is tomorrow night alright for you?"

"It's great! Pick me up at seven, okay?" she replied, trying very hard to contain her excitement.

"Seven is fine."

"Oh, and Ishida…"

"Yes."

"What did I say when I first asked you?" Uryuu beckoned her over and whispered the meaning into her ear. After hearing this, Nemu temporarily lost her balance and sprinted away, wishing she could shunpo in her gigai. Uryuu, however, just sat there, hoping he had made the right choice.

"Hey, Retsu! I heard there are some nice fight clubs in the slums, would you mind healing me up if I get injured?" bellowed the eleventh division captain to his fourth division counterpart.

"I'm sorry Zaraki, not everyone loves their job as much as you do; I'm on vacation. And besides, don't you know the number one rule of fight club?"

"Huh?"

"Never talk about fight club."

"Mommy-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! Don't say no Mommy-chan, Ken-chan really wants you to so he can—" almost as soon as Yachiru spoke Kenpachi grabbed her and threw her into his sleeve, then pinched the end tight so as to prevent her escape.

"Kids these days," he grunted. "Oh well, I guess we'll have to go alone then, eh, Yachiru? Man, Ikkaku's going to be so jealous." he gave a maniacal smile as he continued to talk to his wriggling sleeve and began to walk off.

"Zaraki! Wait!" Unohana called, amazingly enough in a way that still made her appear calm and serene. "I suppose I could look you over when you come back, just pop buy my room when you're done."

"Thanks Retsu, I have no idea how I'd get by without you," and with that the burly captain and his tiny lieutenant (who by now had worked herself free) marched off to beat up some Mexicans.

* * *

"I really shouldn't be doing this, they're gonna hate me," Ichigo thought aloud as Chad knocked on the door of his uncle's mansion. Although his mother's side of the family didn't have much money, Chad's uncle had struck it rich in the resort business, climbing his way up the ladder until he was one of the most powerful men in Mexico.

"Relax, Kurosaki-kun. Sado-kun thinks you're great, that should be enough for them." Orihime told him, smiling.

"Really?"

"No," was Ishida's cold reply. "My guess is they're probably going to hate us." Ichigo looked at him with a frown on his face.

"You're really quite the optimist."

"I try to be, Kurosaki." Finally the door opened and Chad's uncle stared blankly at his nephew.

"Japonés, so nice to see you again. Please, please, all of you come in." Had he not beckoned Ichigo and Orihime would have had no idea what to do. They walked into a spacious living room and sat down on some leather sofas. Chad quickly introduced his friends and surprised his uncle when he told him Uryuu could speak Spanish. They had a long business chat until Chad's cousins walked down the stairs. The best way to describe them would be clones of Chad with shorter hair. Both of them dropped down next to their father, and fixed their eyes firmly on Orihime's chest.

"Japonés, you remember Carlos y Juan."

"Hola," they said in perfect unison and the same amount of disinterest.

"Ichigo Kurosaki." he did his best to introduce himself, and they got the point.

"Hola," they didn't even turn their heads in his direction (or their eyes for that matter).

"Me llamo Uryuu Ishida."

"Hola,"

"Orihime Inoue."

"Hola, melones."

"Chad, tell them to stop staring at Orihime like that." As soon as he did, his cousins replied, "We've made our choice. Besides, the view is way better down here."

Now Ichigo didn't speak Spanish, but he knew an obnoxious remark when he heard one. Within seconds he had knocked them both onto the floor. It all went downhill from there. Uryuu and Chad's uncle were talking about Don Quixote, so they had no idea why Ichigo had just sucker-punched the boys. Ishida assumed it was for a good reason, but Chad's uncle was furious.

"¡Chingua!" he roared. "What the hell did you just do to my boys?! Get out; Get out right now before I beat the shit out you!" Everyone scrambled out the door as quickly as possible.

"Japonés, you're welcome back anytime," he said, finally regaining his cool. "But please, when you do come back, _come alone_." As they walked down the street, Ishida pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"I hate to say I told you so, but—"

"You're lying."

"Maybe I am, Kurosaki. Oh, I was wondering, what ever happened to Rukia?"

"I already told you, Ishida-kun, she's catching up with Renji." At this Ichigo couldn't help but smile.

"Hope she's on the pill."

* * *

_Finally, my chance has arrived,_ thought Soifon as she sat down next to her mentor. The Shinigami Women's Society was holding a meeting in the hotel bar, and Yoruichi was the guest of honor. Things were going great. Except for whenever Soifon tried to slip the liquid into Yoruichi's tequila, she always moved into a position where she could see just what Soifon was planning. Then it happened.

"¡Me gusta mucho la tequíla!" shouted a thoroughly drunk Matsumoto dancing about on the tables and singing, "Dah-duh-duh-dah-dah-dát! Tequíla!" No one could stop laughing.

"This is classic!" Yoruichi shrieked. "Oh God I wish I had a camera!" Matsumoto continued to prance around from barstool to barstool, singing Guantanamera and thanking God for alcohol. It was right in the middle of one of Yoruichi's longest laughing fits that Soifon mixed the liquid in with her mentor's drink. Everything seemed to be going perfectly.

"Oh Yoruichi-sama," she said innocently.

"What is it, Soifon?" Soifon's perfect moment was cut shot as Matsumoto hit the floor right next to them.

"Ow! I didn't know the floor was so hard. They could really use some carpeting, don't you think?" The drunken blonde staggered to her feet and wobbled over to the bar where Yoruichi and Soifon were sitting.

"I feel soooooooo wasted right now. I could really use a drink," she continued, picking up the tampered shot and quickly gulped it down, then banged it down as hard as she could.

"Matsumotoooooooooooooo!" Matsumoto whipped her head around to see what the fuss was about. Toushirou Hitsugaya was standing at the entrance of the bar, angrier than anyone had ever seen him, ever. "I knew I shouldn't have left you around alcohol this long; and you better not throw up on my bed! I swear, it's supposed to be my vacation, but I'm stuck babysitting you! C'mon, we're going back to the room."

"You're so good to me taichou, maybe when we get up there I can be good to _you._"

"I'm going to attribute that to whatever the hell you were drinking. Now do you need help standing? I thought as much." Throwing her arm over his shoulder, the tiny captain carried his busty lieutenant out of the bar. The far more shit-faced of the two turned her head to Soifon.

"Isn't he so amazing?" Soifon then realized that Nemu had forgotten to tell her something important. The first person the target sees after taking the potion is the person they fall in love with. She had a way around that.

"Yoruichi-sama, could you help me master shunkou tomorrow? But I've been having problems concentrating lately, so could we do it somewhere where no one will bother us?"

"I suppose, how's noon for you?"

"Perfect."

* * *

Yeah, I suppose that was sub-par, but I hope you enjoyed it. So far I've only gotten 1 review, but maybe that'll change. C'mon people, if you read it, it wouldn't hurt to review. 


	3. Teusday,

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach if I did, Ulquiorra wouldn't be emo**

* * *

Toushirou Hitsugaya woke up in a position he was rather uncomfortable with. Well, rather was putting it mildly. He found unable to move, seeing as how he was lying on top of Rangiku, and she was cuddling him in the same way a much younger girl would cuddle a stuffed animal. After observing his surroundings he realized he had a large bruise on his head and wished he could forget what happened last night.

It was right after he had held Matsumoto's hair back while she barfed for the fifth time, and needless to say she was unusually grateful.

"You know, I really ought to thank you, taichou," she began. "I mean, you're always doing what's best for me, but it's not like I wouldn't repay you if you asked." She was inching closer to him, ruining the moment by slipping on the floor here and there. "I would do anything for you, taichou, _anything_." Her voice had taken a more seductive tone, a drunken, seductive tone. She slowly leaned in closer, and then kissed him.

Hitsugaya hated it. He felt bad about taking advantage of her in this state, not to mention her breath was like a mix of alcohol and vomit. Quickly he pushed himself backward.

"It's okay, I understand," she continued. "Despite your smart n' sexiness, you're still a kid, and you couldn't resist me forever, I'm telling you you don't have to anymore." He had to hand it to her; she was very eloquent while drunk. He would have done anything to get out of the situation, and soon enough his chance came. It came in the form of trying to stand up, but instead bumping his head on the sink so hard he passed out.

At first he thought he was dreaming when she picked him up and carried him to the bed with her. After that she kissed him goodnight and fell asleep cuddling him like some teddy bear. Hitsugaya now realized that that was more plausible, but still thought it was because she was drunk the other night. That was going to cost him.

* * *

He opened the door, and there she was. 

"Kurosaki-kun, I never got to thank you for what you did for me yesterday."

"I'd do anything for a friend Orihime you know that. Besides, it must have been really uncomfortable to have those guys staring at your… your… well, you know what I mean."

"Yes, I think so."

"Listen, Chad went back to visit his relatives, Ishida hasn't let anyone in his room all morning, and Rukia is out buying a pregnancy testing kit to make sure Renji didn't knock her up, so would you like to—"

_POW!_

"Idiot! Don't even joke about something like that! Are you even old enough to understand what you're saying?!" Rukia was furious, but flying through the window and kicking Ichigo in the head had made her feel a little better.

"I'm a lot older than you think, you old hag! It's not my fault it took you 1500 years to figure out what I did in 15! And c'mon we both know it was funny."

"Old hag! How dare you! And it certainly wasn't funny, did you see Inoue laughing!"

"That's because you made her nervous, she probably would have laughed right along with me had you not burst in and kicked me in the head!"

"Oh, I really doubt that. Inoue, you didn't think that was funny, did you?"

"It was nice talking to you Kuchiki-san, Kurosaki-kun, but I've got to go." Orihime backed out of the room and started walking quickly down the hall. She bowed her head and gave a weary sigh. She had planned on telling him today, but it would have to wait.

* * *

"Soifon! Glad you could make it," Yoruichi said as she sized up her new student. 

"I'm ready Yoruichi-sama. W-wait a minute, weren't we going to be alone?"

"Oh don't mind Ise, she just wanted a quiet place to read, _away _from Kyouraku."

"Alright then, what do I do?" The training was rigorous, and it would kind to say that Yoruichi was a cruel taskmaster, but Soifon enjoyed it. To her, time with Yoruichi was time well spent. Finally, they sat down for a break.

"Yoruichi-sama, have you tried this juice? It's delicious," Handing her a cup full of a drink that she herself had tampered with. _I may have screwed up last night, _she thought, _but what happened to Matsumoto won't happen again_.

"You know, I don't think I have," Yoruichi picked up the cup, and was just about to put it to her lips when out of nowhere a voice called out.

"There you two are, I was looking for you all over the place!" Kisuke Urahara shouted to them as he walked up, poorly shaved but at least not wearing clothes that had been made one hundred years ago.

"Oh Kisuke, decided to show up uninvited, did you? Ya know what though, you should try this juice; Soifon said it's delicious."

"Did she now," Urahara took the juice and quickly drank the entire cup. Soifon could have died.

"My, my, Soi-chan, you've developed good taste over these last one hundred years, not to mention incredible beauty." _Oh God, _thought Soifon, _what did I do to deserve this_?

"Soi-chan, you look upset, let me cheer you up." Urahara leaned forward slowly with his lips puckered.

"Ise can I see your book for a second?"  
"Of course taichou, why do you as—"

_WHACK!_

"So cold, Soi-chan."

* * *

"If this in any way makes Nemu a less efficient worker when we get back to Soul Society, I'm going to kill you myself, do you understand me, boy?" Kurotsuchi Mayuri was giving Uryuu an angry glair, as if he would really kill him at that instant. 

"That won't happen, sir, I assure you." Uryuu said, looking behind the rather unhappy captain to see if his date was ready.

"Okay, let's go," came a voice from inside the room. Nemu walked out to greet her date with a small bow and a blush.

"C'mon," he said, "let's go."

"Back by ten, or both of you will suffer!"

"Yes, Mayuri-sama"

The restaurant wasn't that crowded, but it had a nice atmosphere and the service was pretty good. The two of them sat there nervously, not saying a word. Nemu did her best to start the conversation.

"So, what's she like?"

"Who?"

"Your mother. I never had one, so I was just curious."

"My mother died when I was very young."

"Oh." Silence. Uryuu tried this time

"So…any interests, hobbies, things like that?"

"I like taking pictures, there's always plenty of things to do on the computers in—"

"Wait, computers… do you get the human internet over there?"  
"Of course."

"Ever seen Red vs Blue?"  
"Who hasn't, that's hilarious." At last things were looking up. That is, until Ishida caught Nemu trying to "improve" his iced tea. He caught her and looked her straight in the eye.

"Please," he said. "I'm really having fun tonight, don't spoil the evening."

"You—you know what this is?"

"I have a good idea?"

"And you're not mad?"

"You're nervous; it was obvious even when you asked me out. You just wanted the date to go as smoothly as possible. Quite frankly I don't blame you."

"So you forgive me?"

"Yes. Now what were we talking about?" _He can be compassionate, _she thought, _I knew I was right about him._

On the way back to the hotel Uryuu found a mariachi band. He whispered something in the guitarist's ear and handed him some cash. Instantly the band began to play.

"OOOOOOO, I love Prenda del Alma," squealed Nemu. "¿Por qué es un imposible, nuestro amor?"

"¿Tu hablas español?"

"The duties of a high ranking Shinigami can take us all over the world, not just Karakura Town, it is important we are fluent in every human language, so that we may easily communicate with whoever needs our help."

"Cool. Can you teach me Arabic?"

"Maybe later." As they approached Nemu stared at her date with longing eyes. He stared back with confused ones. She closed her eyes like she was waiting for something. As soon as he got the hint, Uryuu closed his eyes and moved his face towards where he thought hers was. They bumped heads.

"I better get going," Nemu told him as she made her way to the door.

"Nemu, wait!" Uryuu walked quickly up to her and gave her a long romantic kiss.

"Goodnight, Quincy-san." She smiled and closed the door behind her.

"Nemu? It's 10:01 you stupid bitch!" As she braced herself for another beating, Nemu let out a breath and smiled. _Totally worth it._

* * *

_Ya_ know what my story is saying, review me! 


	4. Wednesday, break my heart

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. If I did my clothes would be a lot whiter

Here it is day three. It focuses mainly on Hitsugaya, and there is some HitsuHina as well as some HitsuMatsu, so be warned!!! That is all.

* * *

Ichigo was hoped the week would brighten up. Oh sure the beach was lovely, and he had really enjoyed spending time with all his friends (except for Rukia, who had started to spend even more time with Renji after she heard Ichigo's pregnancy test comment), but he had gotten thrown out of a man's house, kicked in the head as well as seriously pissed off one of his best friends, and now there was an Arrancar standing in front of him. Not only that, but it was the one whose arm he had cut off, so he was bound to hold a grudge.

"What's your name?" he started, looking up at the monster with contempt. "Wait a minute… don't tell me now… it's Yami, isn't it? Well then, I guess it's time to d-d-d-d-duel!"

"That wasn't funny." Yami stated.

"Oh shut up, you just don't get it."

"I get it, and it wasn't funny."

"It's like I always say, if you have no sense of humor than you need to die. Bankai!"

"Yami!" a cold and irritated voice called out his name, and a very small Arrancar walked out to meet the two combatants. "Come," he continued, "We're leaving, this is not what Aizen-sama had in mind."

"Oh, all right." grumbled the larger of the two. Soon enough a portal to Hueco Mundo was opened and the both walked through. _Well now,_ thought Ichigo, _That was really weird._ He climbed back into his body and resumed his walk. Orihime had asked to meet him somewhere around here. She was going to tell him something, something important. It had better be worth it.

"C'mon taichou, let's go to the beach! Pleeeeeeeease?" Matsumoto had been nagging more of late, and Hitsugaya noticed. She always seemed to want to spend more time with him. It was pretty weird, but Hitsugaya just thought she was trying to bug him.

"Fine." At this point he was more than willing to do anything to shut her up.

"Yay! I'll get ready." As soon as she said this Matsumoto took of her tank top and really short shorts to reveal a two piece swim suit. What's more, she did in a somewhat provocative fashion right in front of Hitsugaya.

"M-M-Matsumoto…" he stuttered. It was exactly as she had said. Despite his intelligence, composure, power, and position, he was Soul Society's equivalent of a horny teenager.

"My, my, taichou, I had no idea you thought so highly of me," Matsumoto stated as she looked down at his pants. Was she blushing? He couldn't tell.

"Matsumoto, how long were you planning this?"

"Since yesterday, taichou."

"Let's just go."

Toushirou didn't have a clean swimsuit, so he went to a clothing store near the beach to get one. He had picked out the pair he wanted, and now all that was left was to walk over to the changing room and try them on. He opened the first door he saw, and was more than a little surprised to find the Quincy and Nemu Kurotsuchi making out. He had heard the rumors, but couldn't bring himself to believe it, that is until he saw this.

"Ahem, do you mind, Hitsugaya-san?" asked the Quincy in a rather irritated tone.

"Lock the door next time," Nemu told him harshly. Histugaya didn't know what astounded him more the fact that Nemu just bossed someone around or that there would be a next time.

"Sorry," the tiny captain ducked out of the dressing room and entered another one, almost wishing Hinamori was there saying, "I've been waiting for you, Shirou-chan." But that was just a fantasy. He quickly got changed, found the pair fit, and quickly bought them and left.

Hitsugaya did meet Hinamori on the beach. She was wearing a one piece swim suit which Hitsugaya thought looked amazing on her.

"Shirou-chan!" she kept using that damned pet name, the one he hated with a vengeance.

"Stop calling me that!"

"Oh c'mon, Shirou-chan. You need to lighten up." She smiled and batted her eyelashes.

"I guess I could talk to you for a little while." The one thing Hitsugaya hated about this place, it always seemed to melt his icy composure. Luckily his icy heart had yet to thaw.

The chat he had with Hinamori was a good one. The two of them mainly reminisced about their childhood. That was, of course, before Soifon showed up.

"Hide me," she hissed at them as she crouched behind their backs.

"From who, exactly are you hiding?" asked Hitsugaya.

"Him."

"Oh Soi-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" called out Urahara as he strolled along the beach with flowers in hand. "Where are you Soi-chan? I just want to talk to you. C'mon, you wouldn't mind having a chat with one of Yoruichi's old pals would you?"

"Wow. He's determined," stated Hinamori.

"You have no idea. I'd leave my gigai here but he'd just take it and use it to meet me somewhere."

"Better run then, he's coming this way." as soon as Hitsugaya mentioned it Urahara strolled toward them.

"Toushirou, Momo, have the two of you seen my Soi-chan?" Soifon then made good her escape. She dashed from behind Hitsugaya and Hinamori and dashed the other way, with Urahara following close behind. Which was good for Hitsugaya; he had his own problems to worry about.

"There you are taichou! You really had me worried." Matsumoto exclaimed as she approached her tiny captain. "W-wait a minute, taichou, you were supposed to take _me _to the beach, what the hell are you doing with _her_?!"

"Matsumoto, you just wanted to go to the beach."

"With you, but instead I find you ran off with this skank! It's okay, I forgive you though, now c'mon. I'll let you rub lotion on my back if you hurry." As if this didn't leave Hitsugaya confused, Hinamori's remark was just as puzzling

"Shirou-chan doesn't have to come with you if he doesn't want to."

"Why do you keep calling him Shirou-chan, huh? Why do you insist on treating him like a child? My taichou doesn't deserve that, and you'd think after all he's done for you, you'd be at least a little grateful."

"Who says I'm not. And you're one to talk about being a skank! Walking around with your breasts hanging out for the entire world to see, look at you, you're practically naked in that swimsuit of yours."

"Bitch!"

"Whore!" Hinamori went straight for Matsumoto's hair, tugging on it with all her might while Matsumoto herself went straight for Hinamori's swimsuit, ripping at it with a fury Hitsugaya had never seen in her.

His first thought was to stop the fight, but a hand rested firmly on his shoulder.

"Don't do anything. Just enjoy the moment Toushirou, enjoy the moment."

"For the last time Kurosaki, it's Hitsugaya-taichou."

"And you just ruined it."

* * *

I know, this wasn't my best. But if you can wait until day five, a rather unexpected twist will happen. If you felt the same way as I did about this chapter. Say so in a review. Ya know what, just review. 7 is not a crowd 


	5. Thursday doesn't even start

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach. Yet

Here it is, the chapter all eight of you have been waiting for, with the climax just around the corner. Enjoy!

* * *

"So let me get this straight, you scared an _Arrancar_ away with a bad Yu-gi-oh reference? Wow, Kurosaki, I knew your sense of humor was terrible, but that's just sad, even for you." Uryuu Ishida couldn't help but laugh at Kurosaki on this one, it was just too easy. Especially over a delicious hotel breakfast.

"You know what, you can shut up!" replied a very angry Ichigo, shoving a random pastry into his mouth.

"Ishida-kun, where were you these last two days?" asked a dazed and confused Orihime.

"A good question, Inoue." every one turned to see Rukia walking up to meet them.

"Kuchiki-san."

"I mean think about it," she continued, "I've been with Renji, Chad's been with his relatives, and Inoue, you and Ichigo have been hanging out together, am I right? So where does that leave you, Ishida-san?"

"I think I know." Ichigo had and evil smile on his face. One that Uryuu dreaded. "I had an interesting talk with Toushirou the other day." Ishida was waiting for the bomb to drop. "And he said he saw a certain Quincy and a certain twelfth squad lieutenant making out in the changing room of a clothing store."

Orihime gasped, Chad kept his usual expressionless stare, and Ichigo was smiling crazily, but Rukia's reaction was a little unexpected.

"'Bout time," she said. Realizing then that she needed to explain it to everyone else at the table, she sighed and cleared her throat.

"Look, Nemu's little crush on Ishida was well known among the members of the Shinigami Women's Society, it was only a matter of time before she made her move, and I figured she would either use a love potion from R&D or nerd boy here would be so desperate it wouldn't be necessary."

"I am not desperate!"

"Did she use the potion?"

"No."

"Then you're desperate."

"You and Ichigo are just angry because I'm dating someone and you're not."

"What do you think I've been doing with Renji? It's Ichigo that's the lonely one."

"But Kuchiki-san," said Orihime, "I thought you were just catching up with Renji."

"Oh come on Inoue, you can't be that naïve."

"I also thought Ishida-kun was in love with Kuchiki-san." At this everyone burst out in laughter, even Chad smiled a little. But Orihime felt horrible. It really pained her to know she was as naïve as people said. As tears began to well up in her eyes, she decided it would be best to not let her friends see her like this.

"I've got to go," she told them as she pushed her chair in and ran for the stairs.

"Oh great, now she's crying." Ichigo felt bad about what he had done, so he got up and followed her.

"Ichigo!" he turned his head for a second to see what Rukia wanted. "Don't tell any stupid jokes." _Whatever_, he thought and hurried to catch up with Inoue

* * *

It took a while for Hitsugaya to understand the gravity of the situation. Somehow he had managed to do something incredibly stupid. Stupider by far than anything his airhead lieutenant had ever done. Nothing, past or present, could possibly compare to this horrible sin. He had single-handedly committed the greatest folly anyone can make when traveling to Mexico. He drank the water.

To make matters worse, Rangiku was treating him like a sick patient. She had him lying down in bed, and she would bring him food and fluff his pillow and change the channel on the television for him. What's more she was doing it in a sexy nurse costume.

"Matsumoto, you're only doing this so you can wear that costume, aren't you?"  
"That's only part of it taichou," Matsumoto told him in an unusually caring voice. "Has it ever occurred to you that I just want to take care of you? Maybe that I want you to recover as soon as possible?" She gave him a big hug, one that managed to easily demonstrate her assets to the young taichou. "Besides, I packed a lot of these costumes and it would be a shame if I couldn't wear them."

"Like…"

"Sexy nurse, sexy policewoman, sexy firewoman, sexy scientist, sexy teacher, sexy librarian, sexy schoolgirl, sexy alien, sexy bunny, sexy devil, sexy…"

"Why did I even ask?" There was a loud rapping as someone knocked on the door.

"Don't move, I'll get it, okay?" She was strangely happy, especially after her fight with Hinamori. Hitsugaya eventually had told her to go back to the room with him, at which point she gave a cruel smile to Hinamori, and a kind one to Hitsugaya. He didn't know why either, but that was in the past and Matsumoto had appeared to have gotten over it.

Rangiku removed her nurse's cap and opened the door just enough to stick her head out. There standing in front of her with a depressed expression was Hinamori.

"What do you want?" asked Matsumoto with a look of pure disgust on her face.

"Is Sh-Shirou-chan here?" Momo asked timidly

"Yes, but what makes you think he wants to talk to you?" She opened the door wider to reveal her whole costume to the depressed girl. "I'd say he's made his choice." She shut the door loudly, leaving Hinamori in tears.

"Matsumoto, who was at the door?"

"Oh, just room service, taichou; can you believe they had the wrong room?"

"Whatever." Hitsugaya's main concern was not the door, it was getting to the bathroom on time.

* * *

"Yoruichi-sama, it's been a while since we last really hung out, so do you mind if we go to dinner sometime?" Soifon knew this was her last chance to get her mentor's affection, so she had to work fast.

"What are you talking about? Didn't I just help you learn shunkou a few days ago?"

"Well sure we've been hanging out recently, but under normal circumstances I never get to see you, and I could use any excuse to get Urahara off my back."

"I don't know what's come over Kisuke, if he doesn't stop soon I'm gonna kick his ass!" Soifon smiled. _This is why you're so great._

It was dark. His massive form was hidden in the alley as he watched people walk by him along the streets. Finally he saw his target, a small boy no older than twelve. Captain Kommamura licked his fox-like chops and dashed out in front of the child.

"_ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!_ Yo soy el chupacabra, y esta noche, serás la cabra!" The boy looked at him strangely, and then let out a laugh.

"¿Señor, Qué es un chupacabra?" Finally Iba appeared, dressed sharply in a dark leather jacket with his trademark sunglasses, pulling a gun out and pointing it squarely at the child. Immediately he turned around the corner and ran away screaming.

"Dammit Tetsuzaemon," grumbled the giant dog person with the big sword. "Why do you keep winning?"

"The chupacabra is a Puerto Rican monster, not a Mexican one, I keep telling you that."

"Right. I knew that."

* * *

Well there you have it. The tension is building, and the next chapter will be out soon. Now review, and be shameless about it.After all, I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.


	6. It's Friday I'm in love

**Disclaimer:** Screw the rules, I have money!

* * *

"I'm not a virgin," Nemu said in a rather expressionless voice, expecting to see a look of shock or surprise on the face of the man holding her. In a desperate attempt to avoid going too far (despite the fact that Matsumoto had told Nemu earlier to win over Uryuu with the three Ps: 'pearance, personality, and pregnancy), the happiest couple within a fifty mile radius of the hotel decided to sit together on the beach, at sunrise, and tell each other their deepest, darkest, secrets.

"You're not surprised?" She was more than a little worried.

Uryuu pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and began to speak, "It was actually quite obvious. You seemed pretty ready to do just about anything, you didn't have a trace of curiosity on our first date, plus I doubt your father can get a date and well…a man has his needs."

"Who said it was my father?"

"It was your father."

"I know."

"Oh," he continued, "and one more thing, you're a really good kisser." He moved in, she received him, and within seconds she was removing her bikini.

"Nemu, I thought we had agreed to slow down."

"Uryuu, I don't think either of us took that agreement seriously."

"Neither do I."

"Someplace more private, then?"

"Good idea."

* * *

"Okay taichou, by the power invested in me as the sexy nurse, I now pronounce you cured!" Matsumoto gave her captain a huge smile, and an even bigger hug.

"Great, so I can get out of bed now?" Hitsugaya asked anxiously, also hoping his lieutenant would get off him.

"If I were you I wouldn't get up just yet." Her voice had taken a different tone. She placed her hand on his chest and slowly slid it down farther and farther down until she had a firm grip.

"Matsumoto, what are you doing?"  
"Relax, taichou, trust me, you'll enjoy it."

"That's it!" It had finally happened, Toushirou Hitsugaya was ready to kill someone.

"Matsumoto, you've been messing with me this entire week now and I'm tired of it! What do you want me to say, that I think you're attractive? 'Cause if it'll shut you up I will. And another thing, what is it with you and Hinamori? It's not like she ever did anything to you? Matsumoto, what's your problem? Why the hell are you trying so hard to piss me off?!"

"You really don't get it, do you?" Wonderful. Now she was crying. However, she managed to choke back her tears long enough to grab him by the shirt and pull him in for a long, romantic kiss.

"Well that was unexpected." He would never get women.

* * *

_Ok, last chance. Don't screw this up._ Soifon thought to herself as she sat on the porch of a small restaurant with Yoruichi. They really had been having a good time, drinking and laughing and reminiscing. Unfortunately, there was nothing to distract Yoruichi long enough for Soifon to slip her the potion. But once again her luck changed for the better, which in turn caused it to change for the worse.

"Yoruichi-san, Soifon, what are you guys doing here?" asked a dazed and confused Ichigo.

"Just hangin' out," Soifon told him sweetly while pouring the clear liquid into her mentor's wine. "Now buzz off you little brat!!"

"This should be interesting," Yoruichi mused as she drained her glass, staring intently at Ichigo and waiting for his reply. Soifon cursed herself. Things were worse now than they had ever been before.

A change had come over Yoruichi, even Ichigo realized that. However, he had no idea what that change was. She staggered to her feet and slowly stumbled over to him slurring her speech, all in all being a perfectly convincing drunk.

"Oi, Ichigo, come sit with us, let's talk about old times, have some fun, you know you want to…"

"Yoruichi-san, you're drunk, I think maybe I should take you home."

"You do that, carrot top." She leaned on him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. "Hold on," she told him as she turned into a cat and curled up on his left shoulder. "Now go."

Soifon paid the bill and left feeling depressed. As she walked down the quiet street, she knew that Urahara would be around the corner, so she turned around and kicked the stranger right between the eyes.

* * *

Finally, Ichigo had gotten her to her hotel room. It had been a lot of work, and Ichigo really needed a break. So he sat down on her bed, hoping she would mind. Which she didn't, of course. In fact, the cat-form of Yoruichi quickly hopped into his lap and curled into a ball.

"Mmmmmm, Ichigo," she moaned in her baritone voice, "scratch my back a bit would you." Not seeing the harm, Ichigo shrugged and complied with her request.

* * *

Soifon was dying to know what that spiky-haired brat was doing to her beloved Yoruichi. At this stage, she was beyond worried. She really doubted that a _teenager_ could be responsible with, let alone handle a woman like Yoruichi. In, fact Soifon was just about to knock on her door and give that brat a piece of he mind; that is, until she heard the noise.

"Oh Ichigo, Ichigo! That's it, Right there! Don't stop! Don't stop!" The voice was unmistakably Yoruichi's. This was too much for Soifon. She turned and ran back down the hall, choking back her tears. She had been running for a good five minutes before it hit her. That was Yoruichi's cat voice. _She wasn't in human form_, thought the second division captain, _and that means they weren't…God I'm an idiot!_ Immediately she turned around and headed back to the hotel.

* * *

After roughly three minutes, Yoruichi slipped out of Ichigo's grasp and sat down on the bed in front of him.

"Ichigo," she began, managing to be a convincing drunk even though she was a cat, "Let's play a game. I'm gonna jump at you and you catch me, okay?"

"Okay…I guess," by this point, Ichigo couldn't have been more confused.

"Ready?"

"Yeah..."

"Catch me!" Yoruichi sprang at him. There was a puff of smoke and laying Ichigo found Yoruichi lying on top of him, undoing the buttons on his shirt; the human form of Yoruichi; the very _naked_ human form of Yoruichi.

"Yoruichi-san," Ichigo protested, "I really don't think we should be doing this."

"You're so cute when you think you have a choice. Now help me get your pants off."

"But—"

"No buts. What, are you nervous? You're not getting off the hook that easily. Plus, you'll enjoy it." It took another seven minutes, but eventually he caved.

* * *

_That carrot-topped brat is going to get it._ Soifon really had had it. She had already partially released Suzumebachi. She was at the door and had every intention of stinging the kid in one thousand different spots, then ripping his heart out. Then she heard the noise again.

"Oh Ichigo, Ichigo! That's it, right there! Don't stop! Don't stop!" Now there was no mistaking it; that was Yoruichi's _human _voice. Once again she turned around and ran away in tears.

* * *

How's that for a plot twist? Ok guys, it's review time. 


	7. Just Like Heaven

**Disclaimer:** I do not own bleach. If I did, Mayuri would DIE

it took me a while but here it is, sorry about the delay. Also, here is a little extra content I forgot to post the first time.

* * *

"So…" Uryuu looked incredibly worried as he stared at Nemu, and although she didn't show it, she felt just the same way. Soifon, who had begun hanging around with them (to their great displeasure), took a break from feeling sorry for herself long enough to see the outcome of this most crucial moment in the Quincy and Nemu's relationship. She would probably start crying again after it was over. 

"Well…" Nemu looked around at Uryuu and Soifon, she saw Unohana walk slowly into their little group. She was smiling serenely, giving off the aura of care and trust that seemed to just be a part of her. She gave Nemu a reassuring glance that told her everything would be fine. Now she was ready to tell them all the news.

"Yes…" said Soifon. She couldn't help but wonder how Mayuri would react to the whole incident. She really doubted he would take it well. There was no doubt that the poor girl would get the shit beat out of her either way. She let out a small sigh. It was probably best not to tell him. In fact, the less that madman knew about what his daughter was doing, the better.

"I'm not pregnant." Uryuu was obviously relieved, Unohana's expression hadn't changed at all, and Soifon looked disappointed. As the Quincy embraced his girlfriend, she spoke up.

"The two of you got lucky, Quincy-san," she told him. "Some mothers say the only way to get a man married is to use pregnancy as a trap." As everyone gave her a strange look, tears welled up in her eyes.

"Really stupid mothers who are even meaner when they're not drunk." She ran away crying.

"Well I hope the two of you have learned your lesson," Unohana told the young couple sternly.

"And what lesson might that be?" asked Uryuu.

"You do the nasty before you get married, yo' ass gon' burn."

* * *

Ichigo woke up, horribly confused. He really hoped that he didn't just sleep with Yoruichi. Not only would it ruin his love life, it would really make things awkward between them, something he was afraid of. Of course all his hopes were squashed as soon as he realized he wasn't in his hotel room, and Yoruichi walked out of the bathroom after a quick shower. 

"Mornin' Ichi. You want breakfast?" When had she started to call him Ichi? This was just like a bad dream. A really awesome bad dream.

"It's okay if you don't," she continued, "but we gotta figure out what we're gonna do today. I mean it's a beautiful day, have you ever tried surfing? I think we should do that. Ooh and I'd love to try this restaurant called Escupimos En Su Alimento. I forgot what that means but I've heard the food there is just delicious. Now that you're my boyfriend you're gonna hafta start paying for me, you know that?"

"Wait, what!? I'm your boyfriend?"

"Oh, you thought that was just a one night stand, didn't you? Nope the two of us are in a long term relationship now. Oh, and I forgot to mention, you have one of Soifon's Homonka on your shoulder." Ichigo examined the butterfly-shaped mark, and realized he was in way over his head.

Everyone met for breakfast as usual. Except Yoruichi took Orihime's place next to Ichigo and almost contantly had her arm around him.

"So you just kind of dragged him into it, Yoruichi-san?" Chad asked tentatively.

"Yeah, he'll learn to love me. But he didn't need to learn anything for last night! My God Ichi the way you performed I could almost swear you weren't a virgin!"

"Yoruichi-san, ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?"

"No, Uryuu. Why do you ask?"

"No reason."

Orihime looked at Ichigo with a pained look on her face. She let out a sigh. If this is what would make him happy than who was she to interfere.

"Orihime," Yoruichi said in the sweetest voice she could muster, "if you look at Ichi like that again I will personally ensure that you die in the most painful way possible, 'kay?"

* * *

Toushirou Hitsugaya was sitting alone. Things between him and Hinamori had been terrible lately, and he couldn't talk about it with Matsumoto because apparently he had broken her heart. He wasn't alone for long, though. Shunsui Kyouraku sat down on the bench next to him. He was dressed almost like he would have in soul society, wearing a sombrero and a pink shirt with a pattern similar to that of the cloak that he never took off. 

"Got a problem, Toushirou?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Well that's too bad, 'cause I'm gonna talk about it. You broke both Hinamori's and Matsumoto's hearts without even realizing what you did, right."

"I said I didn't want to talk about it."

"Trust me, you look like you could use some help."

"For the last time I told you—"

"Trust me."

"Fine."

"Looks to me like you have to choose."

"What are you talking about?"

"You can't comfort them both. If you try they'll both get really mad at you and talking to either one will be impossible. This is also a decision that you have to make carefully. I know you think you should go to Hinamori, but I would suggest otherwise. She's a lot stronger than you think. Trust me, if she can get over Aizen, she can get over you."

"You think…"

"It was really obvious."

"What about Matsumoto?"

"That's the thing. You know Matsumoto thinks of herself as a beautiful woman. Getting guys has never been difficult for her. Then you came along and, well…"

"Effectively crushed her self-esteem."

"Exactly."

"Thank you, Kyouraku, you've been a big help."

"Well when you've been chasing women as long as I have, you're bound to learn a thing or two about them. Nanao-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" and with that the unusually helpful Kyouraku ran off after the woman he loved, leaving Hitsugaya to wonder whether he should take his advice to heart.

He had finally made up his mind. Now to get up there and do something he knew he was going to regret. He opened the door and walked inside. There she was, crying silently but crying nonetheless.

"Matsumoto…" he began, "I've been thinking and… well… let's go out tomorrow, just the two of us, how about it?"  
"Oh taichou I'd love to!!!!" Matsumoto was happier than he'd ever seen her. Ever.

"So what made you change your mind?" she asked.

"You did." He technically wasn't lying, but it wasn't what she thought.

* * *

So whaddya think? Tell me in a review 


	8. The Cure

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach. If I did at least some of those games would be in the states.

yep this is the wrap up chapter, after which there will be but one more, sorry guys. But when you review tell me exactly how manyreferences I made throughout the entire story, and at the end of the final chapter I will tell you myself.

* * *

Ichigo, Soifon, and Hitsugaya all sat down quietly. They looked expectantly at Nemu, who had summoned them all here. Except of course for Ichigo, who half expected Soifon to burst out of her gigai at any moment and finish what she had started.

"You're probably all wondering why you're here," she began. "To be perfectly honest it seems that Soifon-taichou didn't use the batches I gave her as she had intended, and it has caused…complications."

"Wait a minute, what did you give Soifon?" Toushirou asked.

"Three batches of a solution I developed to obtain the Quincy's affection."

"That's why Matsumoto's been acting so strangely, and why Urahara is chasing you…"

"And why Yoruichi's all over me!" burst in Ichigo.

"You can't handle a woman like Yoruichi. She deserves better than you." Soifon told him dryly.

"Please, Soifon-taichou. We're not here to argue over who should be dating Yoruichi, we're here to address the problem at hand."

"Yeah, a problem you caused."

"Oh shut up, Kurosaki."

"Anyway, as I was saying," continued Nemu, "I expected something like this to happen, so I engineered the potion to counteract itself. If you give someone under its influence a second dose, that person should return to normal. Lucky for you I have three bathes left. Please use them wisely." Everyone took their batches and left.

"Soi-chan, what brings you my way?" Urahara was much calmer than he had previously been, but anyone who knew him well would say he was excited.

"Well, Kisuke, I'm going to go out on a date with you." Soifon batted her eyelashes and smiled shyly.

"Really?"

"Well of course silly, but first you have to drink this."

"Done." He gulped it down quickly and stared at Soifon with a bit of a puzzled expression.

"Actually, Soifon, I just remembered I have to talk to Kurotsuchi about his experiments and how to hide them—I mean, make them more humane. Yes, that's it." Finally Urahara left and Soifon gave a sigh of relief.

"Ichi!!" Yoruichi met Ichigo with a long, fairly dirty kiss.

"Where were you, you were gone so long I thought you ran out on me. I knew my Ichi wouldn't do something like that."

"Yeah, of course. Say, Yoruichi, are you thirsty at all."

"Depends. What do you want me to drink?"  
"Oh, just some tequila I picked up—"

"Booze! Of course I'll drink it! Aww thank you Ichi that was really sweet of you." after draining the vial Nemu had given to Ichigo. She gave him a stern look.

"Ichigo I think we need to stop seeing each other."

"What?" he did his best to look surprised.

"Well it would be better if we just moved on because I don't love you like I used to and you were probably only in it for the sex. Okay?"

"I guess."

"Good. I knew you'd understand." After she walked out of his room Ichigo couldn't have been happier. Although he had been tempted to drink it himself.

Matsumoto was more than happy to receive her young captain.

"Hi taichou!" She was beaming at him now. "Are we going out tonight?"

"Whatever you want."  
"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally?"

"Of course."  
"Taichou, what's that in your hand?"

"Oh nothing, just some medicine Unohana prescribed for you."

"What's it for?"

"You know I forgot to ask. But it says here you're supposed to take this whole bottle today. Maybe you should do that now."

"And ruin our big dinner with some crazy side effect, no way! I know you're a boy genius and all but sometimes I have to question your judgment. Now I'll go get changed, okay?"

"But Matsumoto—" This was his trump card; he really didn't want to have to pull it out unless he had to, because it required every acting bone in his body.

"You know how I worry about your health. I really don't want to see you get sick. There are a lot of diseases down this far south, and it would break my heart to see so much as your gigai catch one. Please, just do it for me."

"Oh, you really care don't you taichou?" Rangiku gave her captain the kiss of a lifetime before taking the vial from him.  
"That's my little way of saying thank you." Then she downed the potion in the manner of an experienced drinker, and then gave Hitsugaya a blank stare.

"So, when's dinner? I'm starving."

"I dunno. But you know taichou, we should invite the other lieutenants. It would be a lot more fun that way."

"Sure. That's a great idea." Interestingly enough, he had had the most beautiful woman in all of Soul Society madly in love with him, and he made sure that it ended before it began. Now even he was questioning his judgment.

* * *

Well I had to wrap it up and I didn't know how, so if it was unsatisfactory tell me in a review. Or tell me if it was satisfactory, just review it! And don't forget about those references I mentioned. 


	9. Boys Don't Cry

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. I also do not own disclaimers

Well here is my final chapter. I'm sorry it took so long to post an epilogue but now that it's all over you can give me really honest and in depth reviews. 36 is not enough! 536 will not be enough! Oh and please enjoy.

* * *

"So you're not mad?" Hitsugaya asked tentatively. He had just explained everything that happened to Hinamori, and was more than a little surprised to find out she didn't hate him for it.

"Shirou-chan, why would I be? I think you did a noble thing, and I know you. You know absolutely nothing about people's feelings."

"Hey! I know more than you give me credit for!"

"No you don't. If you knew anything you'd have known Rangiku liked you."

"But we're still friends, right?"  
"Maybe."

"What's that supposed to mean? Hinamori! Hinamori wait up!" He dashed after her as she scampered through the gate and back to Soul Society, fondly remembering his early years and wondering how many other people needed this whole misadventure explained to them.

There was in fact, one other person who needed explained. That person was Orihime Inoue, and explaining it to her was going to be incredibly difficult. Nonetheless Ichigo readied himself for the difficult task, after all she was her friend and he owed it to her. He cleared his throat and prepared for Hell.

"Inoue?"

"Kurosaki-kun! Hi."

"Can we talk?"

"Sure, I guess, I mean if that's okay with you…and with Yoruichi too I mean I wouldn't want her mad at me and—"

"Yoruichi and I broke up."

"Oh I'm really sorry, are you—"

"I'm fine, but just le me explain how we got together in the first place, will you?"

"I guess, Kurosaki-kun."

"Well remember how Nemu developed some love potions to use on Ishida, she gave some to Soifon and—"

"Nemu loves Soifon? Should we tell Uryuu?"

"No, no. Soifon wanted to use the potion on Yoruichi, so Nemu gave her some to use."

"But where are you in this story?"

"The way I works is the person falls in love with the first person they see. And after drinking the potion, I was the first person Yoruichi saw." This relieved Orihime a little. She was glad to know Ichigo was still available, but she did her best not to let it show.

"Soooooooooooooooooooo, is everything okay?"

"Of course Kurosaki-kun." Orihime made a mental note to see Nemu before she left.

"We'll see ach other more than you think, you have no idea how often Mayuri-sama sends me to the human world. It won't be that hard to find you."

"No it won't. It's just…well…this is a little awkward." Uryuu replied.

"Saying goodbye is always awkward." Nemu told him. She gave him a quick kiss, which he repaid with a long one, and she ran of in time to her father's shouting.

"Nemu! You stupid bitch, you better not be fooling around with that damn Quincy again or I swear you'll get the beating of a lifetime!"

"Coming Mayuri-sama!" Uryuu was really going to miss her. But hey, was there a better way to start it?

* * *

It's finally over. Oh well no sense dragging something on. Please review. Also, those of you that pay attention to these things at the bottom of the page are probably wondering how mnay refences I mad throughout this story. Well I'll tell you.

Chapter titles: the Cure

Prologue: None

Chapter 1: Fight Club, Mariach music, the tequila song

Chapter 2: Red vs. Blue, Mariachi Music

Chapter 3: Yu-gi-oh

Chapter 4: Yu-gi-oh, the chupacabra

Chapter 5: Billy Joel's the Stranger

Chapter 6: Scrubs, Scrubs

Chapter 7: None


End file.
